Inspiring Ignatian Quote #17

I cannot begin to tell you, after the number of decades I have lived, how many times I have fallen. It is likely incalculable. I had a very recent fall a few months ago. My sister says she saw me airbound! So, not really sure it’s a ‘fall’ rather than more like being shot from a cannon, but fall, nevertheless, I did! And, in a big way! I had reserved a yurt for the first time and it was soooo cute, that I was looking at it nestled in the woods and its charm, that I did not see the curb. Stumbling is much too delicate a word to explain how I became airborne and landed my knee cap on the curb, causing all sorts of pain, blood and eventual damage. And the brand new cup of hot coffee that had only a few sips out of it . . . became airborne as well and splashed all over the sidewalk! Oh, dear, this was not the start to a 10-day retreat I had imagined!

But, in hindsight, it was likely what God knew I most needed and knew I would not otherwise do for myself if not forced . . . just ‘veg’ and heal. Now it would be necessary to care my knee, ankle and broken toe, in addition to regain strength from my recent bout with CoVid-19. Yes, I was a mess and it was less than a week until Christmas! I would need much rest! For me, that is usually a 4-letter word, that I am trying more and more to embrace as positive and necessary.

This was how God was going to teach me “necessary”! My elderly father (90) was not yet vaccinated and I had been in Florida for my son’s college graduation/Thanksgiving when we all got sick. I had to extend my visit, wait for my fever to go down, get a negative test, get on the plane and find a place to be away from my dad for ten days quarantine until I could get another negative test. I wanted no chance of infecting him from either shedding of the virus in my system, or anything I might have gotten during my travels home. The thought of a 10-day personal retreat very much appealed to me. But thinking that and acting out solitude and rest for ten days is another story. By the end of the first full day, I had discarded two books, a needle-work project and a knitting project, a few attempts at journaling and totally abandoned any thoughts of writing out Christmas cards . . . by hand? . . . I had NO energy for that, and the pain on my entire right side intensified! Really, Lord? How can I even rest?

Oh, did I tell you I had to walk with said swollen knee, broken toe and sore ankle @1/4 mile to the bathroom??? Ya . . .

So, what were some of the lessons I learned from this horrific fall?

Patience . . . While I wouldn’t initially call this an ‘aid to well-being’, eventually it would certainly prove beneficial. I learned to be patient with myself while I allowed my traumatized body do its best to heal in its own way and time.

Rest . . . is necessary. Pausing is so crucial to our daily lives. Just to stop and take notice of what and where we are and how we are doing. Are we on the right path? Are we even heading the right direction? When things are whittled down to essential, it help determine both direction and journey. Pausing also offers the best aid to our well-being . . . an opportunity for prayer.

Family . . . my sister and brother-in-law rented the yurt next to mine, and even though I was a mess, they still loved me anyway! They helped me get through so many rough days, and nights, and not only allowed me to go in and rest, but insisted upon it, bringing me tea, something to eat and more meds! They were and invaluable medicine!

Focus . . . I was eventually able to develop laser-like focus on what was important. What did I want to do ‘next’ (when I was better, of course). Next was “Christmas’, but then, next was “next year” as the new year was only a couple weeks away. With this madness of a pandemic and so many friends and family dealing with transitions and losses, we were all dealing with ‘falls’ of some sort. Some were rearranging their career choices, and education choices for their children. How could I be of service to others, once healed, of course?

Prayer . . . I found the greatest refuge in prayer and scripture. Being in candle-light and wrapped in blankets, I could dwell in the Ignatian technique of praying with our imaginations, and visualize Jesus, the ultimate Healer, wrapping His Mantle of protection around me, and warming me with the Light of His Love. This became my escape and I’m certain how and why I healed as well as I did.

In the long run, I think many of us ‘aided our well-being’ through any manifestations of our ‘falling’ whether physical, spiritual, mental, or emotional during these trying times. We discovered weaknesses we were not aware of, and learned to turn to our strengths and creativity . . . and even to a power greater than our own. I’ve heard that when you fall down, the only way is back up . . . up to Heaven and that awesome Loving Creator! While I don’t look forward to another fall, I hope I am more equipped to handle the resulting injury or pain knowing there is going to be a lesson from which I will benefit . . . that silver lining to a cloud we often find after a storm.