Frenemies
Is there someone whom you’ve forgiven, but there is still a remnant of bitterness or anger? Can you learn to see them as a blessing? Can you transition them from enemy to friend?
Once again, my home computer was unable to connect to my website last night - I kept getting error messages. . . . so you get a two/for today.
Tuesday of the Fifth Week in Lent ~ 3/28/23
First of all, it seems hard to believe that March is almost over, and that April and Easter are just around the corner. The temperatures have still been hovering at freezing overnight, with cold and windy days. Spring buds are slow to appear, and the crocus and daffodils are just now starting to peep through the earth. All the metaphors are still awaiting their turn to remind us of ‘life after the death of winter’s cold’ and ‘the awakening of Spring’s cycle of new life’, but like faith, I believe in things unseen. It will be here soon!
Today’s theme is: “A New Understanding of Friends”. I thought it was odd, until I did the reading! When I hear or see something three times, I tend to start taking the message seriously. I read just the other day, how we should be grateful for those who irritate us or challenge us, who even anger us or hurt us; they have offered us the opportunity of learning something new about ourselves.
Then I heard a message about forgiving those who hurt us, and how even if we think we’ve forgiven someone, the memory of the incident(s) may keep coming back to reinjure us, even though we feel we’ve forgiven the original person and offense. The discussion was about Satan attempting to rob us of our joy. It’s like picking at a wound and never letting it heal . . . we are the one continuing to be in pain and suffering the consequences of reliving the injury. Until we can forgive both ourselves and the other, we will not find the peace we are so desperately seeking. Let Go, Let God!
It doesn’t just stop at forgiving the other but taking the next step of actually being grateful for them in our life, despite them causing us pain. They have challenged us to grow beyond our comfort zone. Through the experience we hopefully came out stronger and wiser for it.
Of course, as we approach the week of the Passion of Christ, we are vividly reminded of the way that Jesus was betrayed by Judas, was denied by Peter, and had only John, the beloved apostle and the women at the base of the cross when He was crucified. These were His dear friends and followers who deserted Him at His greatest time of suffering. Besides the physical pain of the persecution He endured, the scourging, the carrying of the cross, the mental and emotional pain must have been unbearable! Besides the rejections of His friends, the taunting and humiliation by the Roman soldiers, to the piercing of His hands, feet and side – He still asked His Father in Heaven, “Forgive them for they know now what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
While we don’t know if He actually considered them friends, we do know His teachings on the Mount from Luke’s Gospel: “ . . . Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” (Luke6:27-28) He goes on to advise them to turn the other cheek if someone strikes them and give them the shirt off your back if they steal your cloak. These are radical messages, but Jesus was racical!
St. Francis was just as radical and wrote this rule for His followers: “Our friends, therefore, are all those who unjustly inflict upon us distress and anguish, shame and injury, sorrow, and punishment, martyrdom and death. We must love them greatly for we shall possess eternal life because of what they bring us.” WOW, what a perspective!
In this day of tender egos and so many feeling that they have been treated unjustly by others – what a departure from this mode of thinking.
Perhaps our Lenten challenge today can be to see those who hurt us, as a blessing rather than a burden? I know how difficult that could be . . . but maybe it’s worth trying? If only to grow a little closer to Jesus by our actions.