Being Hesitant to Follow Christ
The gate to heaven is a narrow one, and few find it.
Friday in the Fourth Week of Lent ~ 3/24/23
Do you sometimes feel a bit hesitant to follow Christ? Or do God’s will? Or, perhaps even take the time to “Be Still”, listening to God, in the event that you might be uncomfortable hearing what might be asked of you?
This is purely natural for us mere mortals. It is a human condition which is always at battle with the Spirit. We are told that the gate that leads us to heaven is a narrow one, so that sets the task of trying to get to that point, even more daunting. But, we must never lose sight of the end goal – eternal life with God, His Son, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
It’s not necessarily easy, but certainly will be worth it if we persevere. And, any difficult task can be met with resistance and hesitancy, even a household chore or project. The destructive thoughts of the evil one start attacking us . . .It shouldn’t be so hard if God is so good and loving. I’ll just wait for a better time . . . What if I fail?
The evangelist, Matthew, answers that for us: “In everything do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets”. “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it”.
What struck me about this passage, is the last line, “. . . and there are few who find It”. He doesn’t say, ‘there are few who take that road’, he says, ‘there are few who find it’. So there is a search involved first, before we get to the road, then we must choose to take the road that leads to life (eternal life). Since we have been gifted with “free will”, we must discern what is our will and what is God’s will. Sometimes they are in alignment and other times, they might be diametrically opposed. We doubt, we wonder, we might become hesitant to follow what we are sensing is God’s will, because we’d rather not.
Perhaps it’s in regard to the selection of a spouse, or a new job, or a ministry. Examining the source of our feelings is important, and it is crucial to be absolutely honest with ourselves. How is our heart reacting? How can we truly know God’s will?
Some guidelines are spelled out pretty clearly – the 10 Commandments in the Old Testament, and the 8 Beatitudes in the New Testament. These 18 guides help set the parameters of what is God’s will and what might be an alternative – our will. If we start looking for the easier way, that could be an indicator that we are hesitant to follow God’s will. Take it to prayer and listen. Truly listen. Journal. Collage. Paint. Let your heart and soul speak in a visual language that can help you see the way you are being called to follow.
Discernment is also crucial in trying to understand the route God wants us to take. St. Ignatius of Loyola has several methods of discernment, but one I fall back on often, is: ‘Imagine that you are lying on your death bed. Will you regret doing this thing? -or- Will you regret not doing this thing?’ How do you think your life will be affected by this choice? Imagine God looking at you, with love and compassion, with outstretched hands to welcome you down the path he is selecting for you? Or, are you confident you know what the decision should be.
Praying to be led to the road that leads to the narrow gate could be a powerful prayer. You might add the request to check any hesitant feelings at the door and the strength to embrace the journey that might be more difficult, but so worth it.
May you continue to be blessed along your Lenten Journey of Sacrifice, Fasting and Giving – even if it hurts a bit. You’ve only got two weeks left!